Feel Great After 50 - My Journey Blog

Exercise Success

2010-03-29T10:27:00.002-05:00

Well, I had hoped writing that last blog entry might help me get to the gym and it did, but in the way I completely expected.

Basically, once I could see in writing what I was feeling, I could take ownership and realize that no one else is going to be working out for and I really do want to feel good. So, I picked up my (already almost packed) gym bag and put one foot in front of the other and went to the gym.

While on the treadmill, I think I realized what was keeping me from going. First of all, let me say that I usually think there is just one thing that is holding me back and if I could just figure it out, I would be okay. However, contrary to that belief, there are usually multiple things going on that combine to keep me stuck. Here is what I think was going on.

First, I was pushing myself too hard to run 5 miles and not allowing for the possibility of running only 2 or 3. Second, the last time I had meant to run 5 but ran only 3.5. In my mind I failed. Third, I don't like to fail. Fourth, when I fail, I quit. Fifth, I don't want to fail again. So, I just won't try. Sixth, besides I don't like to be bored and running so boring.

See how those paradigms or beliefs all work together to make it so difficult to go to the gym? The first step that allowed me to push myself to the gym was to allow myself to run only 3 miles instead of the seemingly insurmountable 5 miles. Once in the gym, the other thoughts fell into place. All of that realization would not have happened if I hadn't actually gone to the gym and started to run since I would have continued to work and kept my mind busy (a kind of numbing out).

Additionally, while on the treadmill, I thought I might write another page for my Feel Great After 50 site about paradigms and how they can keep us stuck. This is a prime example.

Exercise Difficulty

2010-03-29T08:02:00.005-05:00

I'll be honest. I am having a lot of difficulty getting to the gym to exercise. I joined this gym last December. I did a lot of research on gyms in our area and found one that is relatively close (within about 10-12 minutes drive) and that had the classes I wanted when I wanted them (about 8.30 in the morning).

At first I was going about 4 or 5 times a week and enjoying it for the most part. Of course, I was enjoying it mostly because it was new.

Then about 2 weeks after I joined, I found out that I had bronchitis that I probably got as a result our trip overseas during Thanksgiving week. So I had an excuse not to go for several weeks. Then I started back up again mid-January. It was fun again. But then I started not liking several classes. I noticed the difference between instructors and how one was MUCH better than the others but she didn't have very many classes. But at least I went to hers on a regular basis and the others less regularly and ran on the treadmill the other days.

Now, it's been a week since I went. And last Monday was a class that I DID NOT enjoy at all. I decided that I was not going to go to a class that was led by that instructor again. Unfortunately, she leads most of the classes. So I decided that running on the treadmill was probably the best thing for me. Last night before bed I said to myself over and over that I was going to run 5 miles this morning first thing. I didn't do it. I am SO frustrated with myself that I can hardly stand it. I know the benefits of exercise. I know what I think affects what I do. I seem to be doing all the right things but I am not following through. I am allowing myself to NOT do what I KNOW I should do.

I know this is all in my head. There is nothing physically stopping me from going to the gym. There is some paradigm, some belief that is keeping me stuck. And I can't seem to track it down.

Anyway, I'm hoping that by posting this so that you can see my struggle, you will know that this journey we are on is not always direct or easy. But I keep telling myself that it IS worth it.

Lemon Cleanse --- Plans

2010-03-24T18:39:00.006-05:00

Starting soon I plan to begin a lemon cleanse. I have tried it several times but haven't been able to make it past 4 days. And I was so toxic that I was miserable. The lemon cleanse calls for freshly squeezed lemons, maple syrup, water, cayenne pepper combination. I have a friend who likes the flavor, I don't. In fact I have trouble keeping it down. This is the only think I drink all day, no other food. In the morning there is a salt water flush that works great, but again, difficult to keep down.

I know this cleanse works really well, so I am adjusting it so that I can make it past the first detox period. If I can do that, I think I can stay on the cleanse.

I will succeed this time because I have been eating a lot better the last few months. So my detox time will likely be shorter. Additionally, I plan to add grapefruit juice to make the lemon drink taste better. I really like grapefruit juice. If I can drink something that I enjoy, perhaps that will keep me on the cleanse longer.

Here is the link to the website about the cleanse, called the Master Cleanse.

Okay, so those are the facts. As you can tell from my writing, I'm not really looking forward to the detox period. But I realized yesterday that there will never be a time that I WANT to do this. I just need to decide to do what is best for my health. I wish it was fun. I wish I was looking forward to it. But I am making the hard decision to just buckle down and do it. I need to learn how to do that kind of thing anyway.

Alkaline Water Update --- Wrong Test Strips

2010-03-24T17:48:00.002-05:00

Sure enough, I had the wrong test strips. Who would have thought that you need different test strips for water than you use to test your saliva. The pH of the water I am drinking is about 9. I feel better just knowing that.

Alkaline Water Update --- 1 Week Test

2010-03-24T06:57:00.004-05:00

Well, as I said in my last post, I went one week changing only the type of water I drink from straight ro water to ro water treated with drops to make it more alkaline. I believe it was a success. I felt a little better and my pH went up from about 6.5 to 6.75 (a very subtle change, but after only a week it seems significant).

I had a minor glitch. According to the directions, I was supposed to get the water to a pH of about 9 or so. I started with 4.5 ro water and added the suggested number of drops. That gave me water at about pH of 6.5. So I added more drops. In fact, I doubled the number of recommended drops and got up to about 7.5. Adding another 25% got me up to 8. By then the water was so 'heavy' to drink that I couldn't drink very much. So I backed off to about 150% of the recommended quantity just so I could drink it. The pH wasn't as high was recommended but at least I could drink it. I contacted the company to ask if I should keep adding drops but haven't heard back yet. However, later I read a similar question and answer on the website and it suggested that I may be using the wrong pH test strips. So I ordered some (free) water test strips. When those come I will give an update here.

I updated by website Feel Great After 50 and changed my recommendation from straight ro water to alkaline water.

Alkaline Water Adventure

2010-03-16T12:27:00.006-05:00

I am off on new adventure and I wanted to tell you about it. I have been thinking about and researching (on and off) alkaline water.

As you may know from my website Feel Great After 50, I drink only ro (reverse osmosis) water. However, I ran across a filter that makes alkaline water and I started reading about it. The idea sounded interesting but the filter was like $1000. I wasn't about to spend that kind of money until I was absolutely sure it would work. That was about 6 months ago and I wasn't finding anything cheaper. So I was in waiting mode.

Then last week I ran across a website (I don't remember how) that was about cleanses and water quality. Well, they have a product (drops) that you add to water to make it alkaline. Then I thought back about the $1000 water filter and remembered it was a filter but also had some kind of additive that is put in the water after it was filtered. My thought was, hey, I already have a water filter to get ro water. What if I just buy the drops from this new company to see if they work. So, I ordered some.

I received it on my porch on Friday and started drinking alkaline water on Sunday (no straight ro water this week). I tested my saliva pH before I started to drink it and I will test it after a week and report the results back here. I am quite excited. I am deliberately not changing any part of my diet this week so that I can test the effect of the new water only (as best as I can). I really want to get away from my morning cappuccino but not this week.

As soon as I can determine the effect, if any, I will post new information on Feel Great After 50.

Realization 2009-Oct-17

2009-10-17T08:20:00.015-05:00

Well, I have finally come to the realization that I REALLY need to make radical changes in my diet if I want to make any more progress.
I've done everything else I know to do at this point. I've had my amalgam fillings removed. I had my root canal tooth removed. I had my gold crown replaced with porcelain. I filter all my water, drinking water and cooking water. I don't use toxic toothpaste, laundry soap, bath soap, lotions or any personal product. I have a filter on my shower to remove chlorine.
I have cut out all high fructose corn syrup, carbonated drinks and pop. I drink lots of water (at least 2qts a day, usually more). I don't eat MSG (mostly because I get near-migraine headaches when I do).

But, I have come to the realization that all that is not enough. I need to quit eating the SAD (Standard American Diet). Hamburgers, fries, tacos, chips and dip, steak, chicken, candy bars for energy (and chocolate!), coffee with caffeine, beer and similar cooked foods.

In my defense I am eating one raw meal a day, some days, not every day. And I do feel better than I used to but I don't 'Feel Great' like I want to. I still don't sleep well. I still have hot flashes. I'm tired most of the time and my memory is not doing well.

The one thing that has helped the most is my Vemma juice. You can read about it on my Feel Great After 50 website under Fuel by clicking here. I even plan on taking it on vacation.

I don't like raw vegetables. But at this point all I know how to eat raw is in a smoothy or munching raw. Also, I do not like to 'cook' or prepare food. I just want to eat it, the faster the better, without thinking about it.

I tried wheatgrass juice but it's expensive to buy. So I tried growing it myself and that was a disaster. It's not easy and now that winter is coming, I can't grow it inside. Although, I do have some wheatgrass pills that I may try this winter.

So, I have ordered a book that I will let you know if it helps after I get it. I think I just need to get my head around some easy and fast recipes. And just start thinking that this is what I need to do. How much longer am I going to wait?

Oh, by the way, today is our 28th anniversary!

Update on Research - 2009-Aug-25

2009-08-25T06:11:00.003-05:00

Whew! It's been a while, hasn't it? School starts tomorrow, so I thought I would post this morning before the day got away from me.

Here are a few updates on what's been going on and then I will explain why I haven't blogged recently.

First, I found a dentist in town who was willing to remove my root canal and I had that done 2 weeks ago. At first I felt great but I think it was just relief from getting that out of my mouth. After researching, I found that root canals can be very dangerous. I will post some information on my website Feel Great After 50. He made an interesting comment after he removed it that gave me the impression that it WAS infected even though nothing showed up in the x-rays. I will post that on my website too, when I get a chance.

My eating is about at the same place it was the last time I blogged. I have been so frustrated with it that I just couldn't keep blogging the same thing over and over. So I gave up for a while. I can't understand why I KNOW that I am not eating healthy and I KNOW what to do but I don't do it. It doesn't make any sense. I am an engineer. I think logically and I KNOW what I am supposed to be eating but I don't and that frustrates the heck out of me.

Then recently I ran across a book on Amazon called Sway. And I went to the library yesterday and checked it out and started reading it. It is supposed to explain why logical people do irrational things despite training, experience and knowledge. I'll let you know what I think. I have put it in my amazon basket (link to the right) just in case you want to look at it. I'm not naive enough to think that one book is going to fix everything but I would like to know why I think and act the way I do. Maybe I can then find the tiny hidden path to eating healthy consistently.

Busy 2 Weeks - June 01-14

2009-06-16T18:15:00.006-05:00

Has it really been two weeks since I last blogged? It has been a very busy two weeks. I substituted for another teacher. He had National Guard training, so I took his 16 credits. In addition to my 10 credits, I was very busy.

I finally had some time last weekend to get back to my research. I am on a new adventure right now. I scanned a book called Root Canal Cover Up and how root canals can negatively affect our health. Raw food alone doesn't seem to help me much and the root canal I had several years ago may be the reason. I will keep you up-to-date on my research.

In the meantime, I haven't stopped my eating raw adventure. I am still at about the same place, one full raw meal a day (most days), a salad almost every day and plenty of water with electrolytes. I think I narrowed down my headaches to lack of electrolytes. So I drink close to a quart of water with electrolytes daily. It takes about 3 or 4 days to lose enough electrolytes to get a headache and then a couple of days to get back to balance. I also think that my craving of cottage cheese may be related to me not getting enough fat in my diet. I am going to try to use more olive oil on my salads to alleviate this.

One new thing I am doing is using coconut oil on my skin. It took me a few days to get used to the idea of putting something that I consider food on my skin. But now I really like it. It smells so fresh. It's kind of oily for a few minutes but after that I like the way my skin feels. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to last long. But that could be my not consuming enough water.

Please forgive my lack of posting. I plan to post more for the next few weeks, at least until fall semester starts in late August.

Overview - May 2009

2009-05-30T12:28:00.005-05:00

Well, I had an up and down month. I decided to post only a 2 or 3 times a week because of the time involved. Additionally, it is a lot for you to read when I post every day. I tend to be kind of wordy. :-)

By the end of the month, I concluded that my difficulty staying on a detox may be my association of headaches with detoxing. I need to think more about what to do.

I have an extremely busy first two weeks of June. In addition to teaching my 10 credits, I am substituting for another teacher who is in the National Guard. I am taking his 16 credits of courses so that he can do some training. The pay is pretty good (and in this economy I wanted to take the opportunity since I never know what is going to happen next, especially in education). So I decided to take his courses for him. I say that because I don't know how much posting I will do the next two weeks. Maybe I will try to keep a log of my food and drink and then give a summary when I have time. We'll see.

Saturday - May 30

2009-05-30T12:05:00.003-05:00

Hmm...has it really been a week since I posted? That was an extremely fast week!
I felt pretty good this week. Mostly because I didn't eat that well. I realized my headaches and feeling bad from a few weeks ago may have been (probably was) me detoxing. When I eat bad, I don't have headaches but I have problems with other things, like sleeping, focusing and more intense hot flashes. Then when I eat well, I have really bad headaches, I still don't sleep well but the hot flashes are not as intense.

So, here is my dilemma. Assuming I am correct here, and my headaches are from detoxing, then my best logical course of action is to detox as quickly as possible, get over the headaches and then I should feel better on the other side. Then, when I do eat bad food, I should immediately have negative effects and which will encourage me to eat healthy and stay away from SAD (Standard American Diet) food.

That is the logical (intellectually) course of action. The problem is I can't seem to get to the other side of the detox because the headaches are so bad and I seem to be able to put up with pain that is NOT in my head better than pain that IS in my head. Headaches are a nightmare for me. I can work through almost anything EXCEPT pain in my head. Am I the only one that has that problem?

I write all this today because I am fighting a headache today. ( Maybe because I ate really well yesterday? ) To combat it, I took some Advil when I woke up and took a shower right away. Together those will usually knock out most of my headaches, except this morning. I took a nap this morning (it IS Shabbat), fitfully because of my headache, hoping it would go away. I woke up with it worse. So I took some Excedrin Migraine about 45 minutes ago. No relief yet. I'm about ready to take some aspirin and then some Tylenol. See how it seems to control me?

So, unfortunately, I think I have the association that the GOOD food gives me headaches. No surprise that I struggle to eat healthily.

If you read my website about my experience with the Lemon Cleanse, you know that I tried it several times, going as long as 4 days once. But in all those 4 days, I had intense headaches. I may have broken the cleanse right before the headaches going away and starting to feel great (I will never know). But I went as long as I felt like I could at that time.

Now I have 2 weeks ahead of me of substituting for another teacher in addition to teaching my own courses, so I have an intense schedule that won't allow me to have headaches and feel bad. But I already do feel bad. When will the cycle stop? How do I get off?

Tues-Fri May 19-22

2009-05-23T18:09:00.004-05:00

I've been giving a lot of thought to how I will take my raw eating to the next level. I do better taking small steps and then getting those habits deep before taking the next step.

I am in a fairly good phase right now. I have one whole meal raw each day and then usually have something raw with the other two meals. My evening meal is usually raw and if often a smoothie with wheatgrass juice.

My wheatgrass is growing well. I am learning how to grow it better. But, since I grow it outside, the birds have discovered the seed sprouts. So I need to think about how to handle that. Also, one of the (not so good) side effects of growing wheatgrass outside is bird do-do. Needless to say, I will be washing the grass before juicing.

Sunday - Monday May 17-18

2009-05-19T13:02:00.003-05:00

I think I will start posting about 3 times a week (sometimes 2 or 4). I am really busy getting ready for summer school and it takes quite a bit of time to type and edit each post to my satisfaction (I require correct grammar, spelling and typing from my students; I need to do the same!).

Needless to say, nothing has really changed. I am not sleeping well and my back is hurting. I think it might be time for a new bed. We've had this one for at least 8 years (probably longer than that!). It makes it hard to focus when I haven't slept well.

I did get out and run today for the first time in over a week. I misread an email yesterday which completely changed the meaning. And when I realized it, I felt like a complete idiot. It took me several hours to stop that self-talk! But that sure made me want to get out and get some exercise to help my cognitive health. So I ran a little over a mile. I didn't want to kill myself by overdoing it. I thought I might run the same distance again this afternoon. But I may run out of time since we are going to the vet this afternoon. That is a several hour ordeal since the vet is about 30 minutes away. But I hope to remember to get a smoothie on the way home and then take a quick run before the husband gets home.

I seem to eat well (kind of) one day and then not the next. It alternates. Also, the dogs are waking me up in the morning before I am ready to get up. And, unfortunately, it is my fault. I have encouraged their behavior. They can be quite stubborn and I have not trained them properly.

Other than that, the wheatgrass is growing well. I have 5 trays at various stages right now, none of them ready to harvest. But I am learning and they are growing better than those first two trays. I hope to get several days of juice out of each tray but we will see; maybe about 2-4 ounces a day. I have heard that more than 4 ounces can upset your stomach. I do okay with 2, so I will increase from there.

Saturday - May 16

2009-05-17T08:35:00.004-05:00

Saturday was a day of being tired of feeling bad. I awoke with another bad headache but I refused to take any meds for it until about 3pm. The meds allow me to focus somewhat but I think the overall effect on my body is negative.

I still felt dehyrated even though I was drinking more water. I was so frustrated in the morning when I woke up with another headache, that I decided to drink the lemon-water for breakfast instead of having cooked food. Then I had a salad for lunch and a smoothie for dinner (at about 3:30pm). By bedtime, I was very hungry but I didn't eat anything, I just had some more water.

Since I took an Excedrin migraine at about 3pm, I was up until after 11pm. I don't like the effect of the caffeine, and honestly, it didn't really help my headache much.

I just so tired of hurting. I realized that my focus is really to try to alleviate my pain most of the time. I have hurt most of my life, either physically or emotionally, and most of my activities and mental energy is spent trying to alleviate that pain. In fact, studying is a coping mechanism in a way to try to not focus on the pain. But when I am not studying, I tend to focus mentally on how bad I feel rather than try to think about something else. Interesting, eh?

Then I read about the training that US Army Rangers go through and I am envious of their fortitude and focus. I wish I had their focus and intensity. Is that something they learned or is it innate?

Friday 2009-May-15 - I'm back!

2009-05-15T14:20:00.003-05:00

Well, I took a few days off work and just about everything. I was very stressed last week and I realized that I had not taken any time off since sometime last year (but I can't even remember when!), probably about mid-August. I had an extremely stressful fall semester and I hurried into spring semester and just crashed last week. My main goal was to rest so that I could focus on eating raw. The problem was that I ate junk food on Thursday, Friday and part of Saturday and felt terrible after that. Three days in a row this week, Tuesday - Thursday, I woke up with a headache bordering on a migraine. I have had that happen before but never three days in a row, mostly only one day. All those days I took some Excedrin migraine just so that I didn't throw up.

So, my days off did not go as planned. It rained a few days, which was nice. But I really wanted to get out and paint the house but the weather did not cooperate.

So, I read, slept and played computer games. In fact I think my headache one of those days this week was because I played computer games for like 6 or 8 hours straight without eating or drinking anything. I need to get rid of the paradigm that when I take time off, that doesn't mean I take time off taking care of myself.

One paradigm I noticed last week was that I told myself that I could eat what I want, so I ate junk food, like tacos and candy (no pop ... I don't like the feeling in my stomach that the carbonation gives me). That is a bad paradigm. That paradigm says that I am eating raw food instead of the food that I want. Do you see what is wrong with that? The food I want is actually the raw food because it makes me feel good. The food that I don't want is the junk that I like to eat but that makes me feel bad. Interesting, eh? So, I am starting to tell myself that, when I am eating raw food, this is the food I want. I can't believe how many mental structures and paradigms I have about food, most of them destructive.

So, I am back to work and back to eating raw. But next time I take a vacation or a few days off, I won't take time off eating raw. I just hope I start to feel better soon. Today is the first day I don't have a headache but I feel very dehydrated, so I am focusing on drinking a lot of fluids. Yesterday I had a lot of water but I didn't feel much better today, other than no headache. So today, I am drinking water with electrolytes in it, Celestial Seasoning Zinger tea. I am on my second quart and, after my smoothie, I would like to finish a third before bed.

Another bad pattern that I got into the last week is not eating breakfast. I need to find a healthy breakfast and stick to it. I bought some Ezekiel bread, so I will try that in the morning.

Yea! Tomorrow is Saturday and I will head to the farmers market downtown in the morning. I hope to get some good greens and fresh vegetables, although most of them are not organic.

Oh, also, my wheatgrass juicer came early this week and I had some wheatgrass to run through it but only for two days. I am in the process of learning to grow my own wheatgrass. It's not easy or is kind of messy but I am getting the hang of it. I use almost a full flat every day (since it isn't very dense), so I need to start a new flat daily. Also, the seed is not cheap but I am thinking about buying it online instead of at the health food store. I can buy 25 lbs at a time online much cheaper.

Vacation

2009-05-10T07:29:00.001-05:00

I am taking a few days of vacation. I will be blogging again later this week.

Thursday - May 07 - Letting Myself Down

2009-05-07T07:35:00.003-05:00

The last few days I have been feeling that I have let you (those reading this blog) down. I haven't been following the raw detox like I said I would and so, if you found this blog from SimplyRaw website, you might be expecting me to say that I am doing great. That the detox is going great. That I feel great. And that's not what is happening (as you have probably read here).

And then I think, well maybe my struggles are helping you. But all these struggles are not what I expected. Since I am older (over 50, just barely --- notice I did not say that I am OLD!) I seem to have a lot of baggage and attachment to food that I didn't know about.

I am sorry if this blog disappoints you but this is just where I am right now. And that is okay. I am making progress, even though it is slow.

I also feel like I am letting myself down. And in a way I am. I need (and want) to be healthy as soon as possible. And I am more aware than ever when I eat something that is not healthy. At this point, I believe being healthy is eating raw. So that is where I am headed.

Weds May 06 - Better Day

2009-05-06T18:51:00.004-05:00

Today was better than yesterday. I ate pretty well most of the day, salad for lunch, small smoothie for breakfast, larger smoothie for dinner (about 4pm). I just finished a snack of a bowl of cereal (not the best snack). It rained a little today, actually just some heavy sprinkles, but that cheered me up. I sat down to work and fixed my problems from yesterday and was able to make a little headway.

But today I was thinking a lot about yesterday. I think I am setting myself up for failure. Yesterday I had some chips and dip. You know what? If I hadn't purchased those a day or two before, they wouldn't have been in the house (well, the dip anyway ... the husband likes to have multiple types of chips on hand at all times). If I hadn't purchased them earlier, I might have made better choices yesterday. Interesting, eh?

And another thought occurred to me. I think part of me is using this raw food phase (?!) as an excuse to not cook. I have always disliked cooking and thinking about food. However, even with the raw food, there is a certain amount of thinking and preparation that is necessary. And I am just not doing it. Something mentally is stopping me. It feels like there is a wall that I can't see. I need to think about it some more.

Yes, it was a very interesting day. But I noticed on my way home from getting my 4pm smoothie that I am actually feeling pretty good. I wish I didn't have these 35 extra pounds on my body and if I could get my butt out to run every day, I would feel even better. I will give it a shot tomorrow.

Monday and Tuesday, May 4-5

2009-05-05T19:16:00.004-05:00

I am down today (Tuesday). I have a lot of work to do and I went backwards today. Some of my work had to be redone and undone. I did okay for lunch but once I realized I had to redo some of my work, I went straight for the chips and dip. It's much more difficult to work at home where I can stop any time and go to the kitchen for a snack. Most of the time I like it, not today.

However, I have been thinking about the the detox diet book and wondering why I am having so much trouble getting into it. I think there is just so much in the book that I don't know, I am feeling overwhelmed. The book is not very thick but it has a lot of great information. I think I will just focus on one thing at a time and get that down. That will be different for me. I am a quantity person, not quality. So this will be good for me.

As for Monday, I did okay. I don't really remember everything. I had a smoothie for dinner. Oh, now I remember. I skipped lunch, on purpose. Not a good idea. When I get hungry, I don't think clearly and I just eat what is easy.

I have mixed feelings about writing this blog. I have wanted to quit so many times. But I knew I would have to write it down here and that has kept me going so far. So that's good. But I really want to quit and not think about food anymore. Not a good day.

Monday, May 04 - Reaction to Subway Sandwich

2009-05-04T16:05:00.002-05:00

An interesting thing happened to me. I had that Subway sandwich that I mentioned yesterday at about 2:30pm. It was a tuna salad flatbread with lettuce, pickles, onions and hot peppers. Well, today the sandwich ran right through me. At first I was thinking the tuna might have been bad, which may have been the case too. But I think it was the jalapeno peppers. I love hot food but over the last six years or so, I have had to tone it down to the point that I can't eat much of anything that is spicy. When I do, I feel it run all the way through me and I use the word 'run' on purpose. I don't think I have had a reaction to the hot peppers at Subway before (but I have had a reaction to their tuna in the past).

Oh, well, it's for the best. I really shouldn't be eating the cooked food anyway. But I sure do miss the hot, spicy food.

Sunday May 03

2009-05-04T15:56:00.003-05:00

Well, today I had a lot of work to do, both with school and in the yard. I let the day get away from me and before I knew it, it was 2pm and I hadn't eaten lunch. Not a good situation since I chose the fastest, Subway.

I had cereal for breakfast, a sandwich about 2:30pm and then nothing for dinner except for some snacks. I must admit that I slept better since I didn't go to bed on a full stomach but better does not imply good. The hot flashes were still pretty intense.

Oh, well.

April 2009 Overview

2009-05-03T08:15:00.003-05:00

I noticed that since I post to this blog daily, sometimes more often than that, when someone new arrives here, they may be overwhelmed with all the posts. So, occasionally, I will post an overview page and put links to the overviews to the right.

So, this is the first overview and I have decided to give an overview of the posts for the month of April 2009.

I started the month, and the blog, with the intention of jumping right into The Simply Raw Living Foods Detox Manual. After finishing the book, I realized that I knew too little to really do it. There is a lot preparation that is required, like ordering products that I can't find in town, growing sprouts and wheatgrass and getting a juicer.

So, I decided to do the research and post what I find here and condense the information down for my website. In the meantime, I will continue to post what I eat and how I feel even though it is not perfect yet (will it ever be?).

Saturday - May 02 Update

2009-05-03T07:54:00.003-05:00

Today had it's ups and downs. I went to the farmers market first thing and found some good things. The best was that I found a raw food cafe and market in town. I am so excited to try it. What attracted me to their booth was that they had wheatgrass (which I am starting to enjoy, believe it or not). I could see it from a distance. I think I had walked right by the booth and didn't see it and then I turned around and the wheatgrass caught my eye right away.

Well, I was bold and went over and got a little bit too excited. I hope I didn't scare them! Anyway, I am going to check it out this week, probably tomorrow, and let you know how it is. If I like it, I will put a link to their website here and on my website.

So, for lunch I invited some friends to go to the smoothie place for lunch but we went to the barbecue place instead. That was okay since I had a smoothie later in the day (but I had rush before they closed at 4pm). Actually, I am not making good decisions when other people want to eat cooked food and I don't want to. I am letting them decide what I eat, not me.

So, I have decided to let them eat their cooked food and I will eat what I can find on the menu that is raw. And if there isn't anything, I will order just an appetizer or something to drink. This is one way that I am taking charge of my eating. I've been letting other people decide for me. And since I am the only one in my immediate group that is eating raw, I am choosing to let other people decide for me. What I mean by that is not they are picking things on the menu for me to eat but I feel the pressure to be part of the group by eating cooked food with them. And I am paying for it. I didn't sleep well Friday night at all. I felt like I had a rock in my stomach after the cooked food for dinner. And again Saturday night, I didn't sleep well. Although it was much earlier in the day that I had cooked food, I can't help but think that was why I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up and the hot flashes were more intense.

Fortunately, I have very supportive friends and my husband is very understanding too. So, I'm sure they won't mind. The key for me will be to allow them to make their own choices no matter how they treat me. But I am not worried. I think once they see how much better I feel, and with the information I give here to help them, they might want to change to. But that's really up to them.

Also, on Saturday, I ran 2.3 miles, planted a bunch of flowers, starting scraping the house (I am painting the outside of it) and pulled some weeds. I've noticed that I have more energy and I think the main reason is the exercise. I would rather not exercise but once I get out there and it is done, I feel great.

Friday, May 1 - Daily Report

2009-05-01T19:00:00.003-05:00

Well, today wasn't too bad. I really felt like having chinese food for lunch but instead I had my daily smoothie from Juice Co on 42nd St. Yum! That was a good choice.
Although for breakfast I had a bowl of cereal and for dinner some cooked food. My husband is so great. He wanted to make dinner. So he made onions and stir fry beef and noodles. He did make some raw vegie salad. It was so sweet that I didn't want to discourage him. I am so fortunate to be married to him, 27 years and counting. The dinner was great, so I ate it up.
He just isn't ready for the raw food yet and that's okay. I don't want to force him but since he does most of the 'cooking' (food preparing), most of what he makes is cooked. That's okay now. Since we mostly just have snacks at dinner, the only meal we eat together. As I increase my raw food intake, I will let him eat his cooked food and eat my raw food with him.
There is another raw food blog that I recommend, Rawflections - My Raw Food Journey. Cool name --- check it out.

Friday May 1 - Raw Detox Spreadsheet

2009-05-01T11:49:00.006-05:00

Yahoo! A new month and it's feeling like spring is here. I love the rain followed by the sun with the newly cleaned air. Have you ever noticed how green everything is after a rain? It's beautiful.

Well, I am building a spreadsheet in Google Documents that outlines all 4 weeks of the detox from the book. It took me quite a bit of time and there are a few finishing touches that I want to put on it. I just spent about 3 hours this morning and another hour or two last night.

It was a very good exercise for me because I realized why I feel so lost. There is so much I have to learn about eating raw! I feel like such a novice. So, I will spend about an hour every day reading up on things and post the information here. Please feel free to comment if you find my information is inaccurate or incomplete. That's the beauty of research. I get to find stuff out.

I have made the spreadsheet public. So you can look at it and feel free to copy it. You just need the link. So go to the contact page on my webpage and send me a comment, including your email address and I will send the link to you. No strings attached. I will not pass on your email address. I just want to know who has the link. Also, let me know some things about you and your journey, if you like the website or this blog, if you want to.

Thursday, April 30 - Feeling Pretty Good

2009-04-30T19:33:00.004-05:00

I am in a good phase right now. I ran another 2.3 miles today. (I bet you are wondering how I know how far I ran so precisely. Well, I found a google website that you can trace a path and it tells you how far it is, to 3 or 4 decimal places. Pretty neat, eh?)

I feel like I am able to focus better. I have much more energy and consequently, I get more done. I am a list person. I like making lists and I like crossing things off my lists. I rate my day by how much I got done or how many items I cross off my to do list. Unfortunately, that is not the best paradigm to have. I seem to be a human doing sometimes instead of a human being.

I am eating pretty well. Oatmeal and cappuccino for breakfast, salad bar for lunch and a smoothie for dinner with a few snacks in-between. One big challenge for me that I need to work on is that I eat way too fast. That is just part of my family system, do everything fast. I am trying to break that paradigm but it still needs a lot of work.

I think the key right now is the exercise. I say on my website how important it is but sometimes I just need to remind myself again. Also, I did some reading and relaxing this morning before my run and before I started to work. I felt like the day was much shorter (which it was) so the afternoon was a little too hectic trying to get everything done. I think I had too much on my list today. I didn't get 3 or 4 things done and I am very tired.

Oh, speaking of tired, I am also sleeping better. I have decided to go to bed when I am tired, not when it is a certain time. I am also drinking some organic herbal nighttime tea that is helping me relax. Last night I remember waking up only twice during the night and we slept in until 6am (pretty late for us).

So, I am feeling pretty good right now. I would not use the word 'great' yet. But I am well on my way. Yahoo!

If the weather holds tomorrow morning, I plan to run again. Not as far, only about 1.3 miles. The run today was very difficult and I promised myself that if I ran the entire 2.3 miles today, I wouldn't make myself run that far tomorrow. So, probably a 1.3 miles tomorrow and then find a 2.7 route for the weekend.

Oh, speaking of the weekend, the farmers market in town opens on Saturday morning. Although it is the Sabbath, I plan to be there early and start shopping for my weekly organic greens and fresh things.

And, I started a spreadsheet today of the days detox information from the book. I love this book! If you haven't read it yet, you need to. I like the blue comments that Natasha has on most pages. They are encouragement or suggestions or whatever is needed at that point. What I'm doing with the spreadsheet is to lay out the lists that she has in the book in a little different format that makes more sense to me and that I can read at a glance. Then I have the page number in the book for more details. So I will keep the book in the kitchen and when it is time to eat, I will look at the spreadsheet and have the book right there in case I need any clarification.

What a great day!

Weds, April 29 - A Motivated 2.3 Mile Run

2009-04-29T18:54:00.006-05:00

Today was pretty good!
I ran 2.3 miles which made me feel really good. I really had to push myself and I don't do that very often. I had some great motivation which is kind of a funny story.
After my shower I weighed myself. The scale said that I had gained 10 pounds in the last week or 2. Ten pounds! I was shocked and felt really bad. I could not figure out what the deal was! I am eating better than I have my entire life (most of the time).
I really had to face the fact that I allow myself to eat a candy bar almost every day and I have a cappuccino almost every day. Maybe the sandwich I had for lunch yesterday really stuck to me.
So, I was out running and feeling down but more determined than ever to get on this detox. I even thought seriously of putting off the detox and doing the lemon cleanse (see my website until Immune System).
So, I came home and started to think. That doesn't really make sense. I don't feel 10 pounds heavier. I haven't eaten THAT bad. So, I decided to check again. Sure enough, the scale must not have been zeroed and I was down 9 pounds from a few hours before. I felt pretty good! So, I just laughed at myself and I thought it was pretty funny. I was REALLY motivated to run those 2.3 miles. I will try again tomorrow.
Then I had salad bar for lunch and smoothie (from my favorite Juice Co place) for dinner. I did have a candy bar though. And my fluid intake is not very good. But I did better than yesterday.

Then I sat down with my detox book to make lists of things to get. I will be honest. I feel overwhelmed. I am struggling with putting all the information into a list of tasks. I have always had this problem when it comes to food. There are so many choices and decisions to make. I get tired and I just want to quit.

Oh, another thing I was thinking this morning during my run was that I get up every morning, grab my computer and check my email first thing. And I always seem to start working and never stop. Then the day is gone and I haven't finished the tasks I wanted to.
So, my thought was that I would start every morning and take care of myself until about 9 or 10am (actually I was thinking noon, then I backed it down to 11 - I just have too much to do, as always). I could plan my meals for the day, read the things I REALLY want to read, exercise, shower and just relax. Is that even possible? Am I allowed to do that?! Will the world implode or things get out of control if I am not working constantly?!

Tuesday, April 28

2009-04-29T13:05:00.004-05:00

I tried to save some money today since I am spending way too much money on salad bars and smoothies. Of course, saving money usually means not eating as well and I can say that is true this time too.
However, I am done working at my 3 hours a day job and so on Wednesday I plan to get organized and start ordering some of the foods I need.

Monday - April 27

2009-04-28T06:33:00.002-05:00

Today was pretty good. But that's not the good news. The good news is that I think I have found a key to sleeping better, go to bed when I am tired. Who would have thought! Also, I am thinking the eating better is contributing to it.
So, for breakfast, oatmeal and cappuccino. Lunch, salad bar. Dinner, smoothie and rice containing some wild rice. Snacks during the day, candy bar, mixed nuts a few chips. Not a bad day overall.
I also picked up the raw detox diet to plan some meals and realized that there is a lot of preparation as far as growing things, buying things on the internet (the only place I can get most of things) and planning. I will attempt to start the growing and ordering phase and get a timeline going for you. And in the meantime, try to plan some meals that I can eat right away. The book is great. But the preparation time is difficult for me. You might find it easier. If so, or if you have some suggestions, please let me know.

Sunday - April 26, 2009

2009-04-27T09:20:00.003-05:00

Today was a mixture. I really wanted a sandwich or chinese for lunch, anything cooked. I don't really know why. I wasn't feeling anything that I was aware of. However, I made the choice to have a salad with all raw ingredients (and a little bit of cottage cheese on the side). I felt really good about the decision even though the salad was not very good and I didn't finish it. That's one thing that I find difficult about making my own salads. They aren't as good or fresh as the salad bar. Of course, they are cheaper but they are not as fresh, so they have that old lettuce/cabbage tartness that I do not find appealing.

Then later in the day, I decided to go to the store and get some other food. Hint: Don't go to the store hungry. Sourdough bread is one of my weaknesses.
But for dinner I made my own smoothie since the Juice Co. is closed on Sunday. I told them that they should be open on Sunday. And they are thinking about it, at least for the summer.

Also, I have been thinking about the times when I start getting in touch with emotional stuff and want to eat junk food. I remember that journaling used to help a lot. So, I will try that next time and let you know how it goes. If I walk through those emotions, then the junk food craving should go away, at least theoretically.

I am also done making excuses for not following the raw food detox strictly. I will spend part of Monday afternoon rereading the book and making a list of foods to get. Then when I go to get my smoothie this afternoon, I can stop by the health food store and get some of things I need.

And, finally, my wheatgrass sprouts are doing great. I think I can actually call it wheatGRASS now. The rain this weekend was good for it. And I plan to start using filtered water to give the grass a drink when it needs it. I wish I had caught some rainwater for the grass and the garden. I may look into that later this week. We are supposed to have some more heavy rains on Wednesday.

Friday and Saturday, April 24 and 25

2009-04-25T20:40:00.003-05:00

Whoa, did I ever sleep great Friday night. I was exhausted after sleeping only 4 hours on Thursday night. That is a great way to go to bed! I think I will do that more. I like to sleep, so I usually go to bed by 8:30 or 9 but I almost never get to sleep within an hour or so. Maybe I am just not tired enough.
Then, today (Saturday) was Sabbath so slept even more. A little nap after breakfast and another one, longer nap, early afternoon. I wanted to be done with my naps by 3pm when the St. Louis Cardinals were playing on tv, which we won by the way. Woohoo! Pujols had a grand slam!
Well, anyway, my eating yesterday was pretty good. Oatmeal for breakfast, smoothie with a friend for lunch and salad bar for dinner. Today, not so good. Cold cereal for breakfast, smoothie, fresh fruit and salad for lunch and a sandwich for dinner. Oh, and a beer during baseball ... not such a good idea.
Oh, well. I've found this part of my journey the hardest so far. I still haven't set up a plan and I won't get my juicer for at least another 10 days. But I am not complaining. I am doing better, so I am happy with that so far.
Also, it is raining today and it will probably rain tomorrow too. I love it! Rain is so cleansing and refreshing and I love the smell and the sound. Maybe that's way I slept so well last night. It was raining.
I do have some wheatgrass growing. It's about 1/4 inch high. I love spring and all the growing things.

Thurs - April 23 - The Importance of Water

2009-04-23T23:10:00.000-05:00

Well, it's pretty late at night to be up (for me!). It's after 11pm. I tried to go to sleep but couldn't. I was laying there and realized that I had not had hardly anything to drink all day, and no water or electrolyte tea. I usually try to drink at least 2 liters a day. So, I got up to drink about a quart of electrolyte tea. I may be up in the night but that's better than waking up all dry and achy.
Thinking back on the day, I just didn't think about drinking anything. I got focused on work and the day flew by. Two o'clock pm came and I had to leave for an out of town meeting that started at 4pm. I stopped for a smoothie at my favorite juice bar, Juice Co.
When I got to the meeting (late!) they didn't have any bottles of water and they didn't have a break until 6pm. They had some sugary artificially colored drink that I didn't even want to try. And by 6pm I forgot. On the way home I didn't even think about it either.
Oh, and at the meeting, they usually have veggies and little finger sandwiches and bottled water. But, no! Not this time. They had cookies, bananas and the sugar water. I had a banana and a cookie found it's way into my mouth without me even realizing it!
Other than that, I had a salad bar for lunch and oatmeal and cappuccino for breakfast. Not a great day.
I am also not losing weight. But I realized (while I was laying in bed trying to sleep) that my problem may be the cappuccinos. I don't even enjoy them. Why do I feel like I have to have them? Since they closed my favorite Starbucks I don't even have anyone to talk to anymore when I go there. I didn't realize how much I am a creature of habit!
Oh, well, there's tomorrow. But am I going to have this battle forever? It seems like there is no end in sight. But I am choosing to tell myself to stick to it. So, I will.

Weds April 22 - An Interesting Day of Emotions

2009-04-22T19:31:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm back. I didn't blog yesterday and today I was feeling kind of down. Here are the details.

Yesterday I did okay eating. I had salad for lunch and smoothie for dinner. However, I had my smoothie earlier than usual, about 2:30pm, so by 7pm I was pretty hungry. So I gave in to some sourdough bread and butter (real butter, not margarine).

Today, however, was different. I had read in the detox book that it is possible to get in touch with some emotions related to food. However, I really didn't think that applied to me. I don't remember ever eating to stuff emotions.
However, this morning I was blindsided by some emotional stuff that I can't help but think are related to eating raw food. I think I used to do the opposite. Instead of eating to stuff my emotions, I would not eat which would make me shut down emotionally. I used to be thin, a little too thin.
Anyway, it was easier for me to just shut down emotionally and not eating seemed to help. Now that I am deciding to feel my emotions and walk through them, I want to eat junk food. Isn't that strange?
Consequently, I didn't eat anything good today.

So, my thought is that, on my website, I don't address the emotional part of feeling great, especially when it comes to the connection between eating and emotions. I think this experience has taught me not to ignore that on my website. So I will spend some time thinking and researching how to work through this myself so that I can give good advice to whoever is reading my website.

Needless to say, an interesting day. Tomorrow will be better, I have already decided.

Sunday Apr 19 and Monday Apr 20

2009-04-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't post yesterday because I really felt defeated. I also didn't feel very well because I think I have a bladder infection. So I will post two days worth here.
Yesterday I had cereal, salad bar and homemade smoothie. Also, some mixed nuts. I didn't drink much water or tea, so I was really dry. I drove all the way down to get a Juice Co. smoothie and they were closed. So that really bummed me too.
Today was about the same, cereal, salad bar and Juice Co. smoothie. I am drinking more fluids today, 2 liters so far, maybe another half liter tonight be bedtime.
The one good thing is that over the weekend I did not have any snickers bar. I did today but I didn't at all Saturday or Sunday. After this week, there is only one more week of classes, so my schedule will change. When my school schedule changes, it is easier to cut things out of my diet.
This is especially true for this semester. I am working in the help room 10am-1pm on Monday's and Tuesday's and I usually eat lunch on other days between 11 and 11:30. So I get really hungry having to wait until 1:30. The snickers bar tides me over. However, it did occur to me today to take a healthy snack instead. So I may try that next week.
Also, I want to start juicing wheatgrass of my own but I am frustrated that my juicer won't be here until after May 1st.
I didn't run yesterday either. So that made me feel bad. But I did get out and run this morning although I really didn't want to do it and I hurt afterwards.
Oh, well. I got a Juice Co. smoothie with carrot juice, fruit and a double shot of wheatgrass and I stood and talked to the gals working there for a long time. That was nice. I need to get their names since I see them so often. They are really nice.

Sat, 2009-Apr-18

2009-04-18T18:43:00.000-05:00

Today was great! Not my eating but the progress I am seeing. Also, I finished the book!
Now for the details.
I ate cereal for breakfast, barbecue for lunch and a smoothie for dinner. Not so great.

BUT, I did eat a lot less of the cooked food at lunch than I normally would and I must say that I missed my salad. I checked the salads on the menu but they did not sound good for me at all. So I decided to eat a small burger, without the bun and I ordered some apples for my side instead of fries. The apples were cooked but they were MUCH better for me than the fries would have been. Oh, also we had onion rings as appetizers but I didn't have many. It was a good lunch and I tried to eat as best I could. The great part was that I got to spend time with some awesome friends, another couple that we both really like. So it was a great lunch.

And the smoothie I had for dinner was great! It had fruit, carrot juice, flax seed, banana and a double shot of wheatgrass juice. YUM!

And secondly I finished the detox book. It was phenomenally great! I want to start the detox RIGHT NOW! However, I will wait until tomorrow and I have a plan. Usually, when I start something like this, I just jump in with no planning, no organization and no direction. This is pretty much a plan to fail. I think, subconsciously, I WANT to fail.

Honestly, I think it is because I don't like thinking about food or organizing food or cooking food or really even eating food. Like I said in a previous post, I would just rather have a pill to take and move on with my life. However, I realized it isn't like that and I need to face it. Brilliant, eh? So, that is what I am going to do.

Tomorrow I will sit down and make a plan for food on Sunday and Monday. Then Monday, I will organize for Tuesday, and so on. I will need to drive further for what I need and some things I won't have for a while because I will need to sprout and grow stuff. Also, my wheatgrass juicer won't be here until early May sometime. So, for now, my wheatgrass source will be the Juice Co. on 42nd Street.

Also, I ran about 1.5 miles today, third day in a row. I need to keep that up and increase the distance until I am running for 1 hour straight. Then I will work on my speed and inch my distance up as needed.

So, the day was pretty good. We had a nice light to medium rainfall for part of the day and then the sun came out later and the temp stayed cool. Almost perfect!

Friday 2009-Apr-17

2009-04-17T17:25:00.000-05:00

Today went pretty well. After running about 1.5 miles (no walking this time), I had a cappuccino and some oatmeal for breakfast. Lunch salad bar and a smoothie about 4pm for dinner. I will probably have a banana and maybe a few mixed nuts later.
The unusual thing was that I sat down to eat my salad at lunch and realized how glad I was to be eating a salad instead of cooked food, like my chinese lunch yesterday. It was a spontaneous thought, not contrived or forced at all. That was very encouraging. I am really starting to enjoy this raw food. I am eating more raw food on a regular basis than ever in my life, despite my lapses recently.
I am feeling better and I've noticed when I eat cooked food I am dizzy and light-headed.
I have another big test tomorrow. Some of my favorite people are taking my husband and I out for lunch at our favorite barbecue place. I've already decided to look for and to eat as much raw food as possible. I really like this restaurant but one thing I noticed recently about the food was that I could taste the stainless steel in the food. There is a slight metal taste. I use only glass pans and dishes in my house and I am beginning to taste metal in food when we eat out. Interesting.
Also, I got the shower water filter in the mail today. I want to get it installed before Sabbath starts at sundown (about 7:57pm).

Thurs - 2009-Apr-16

2009-04-16T18:31:00.000-05:00

An interesting day, to say the least.
I went to Ames this morning to tutor a student and as I was leaving, it was about noon. I decided to go off my raw food and have some Chinese food in the union. When I was up there last semester, I ate there often and really liked it. And I was missing it.
However, today I had it and couldn't remember why I liked it so much before. It wasn't bad but it wasn't as good as I remember. Could my tastes be changing toward raw food and away from cooked food? I hope so.
I did have a smoothie from the Juice Co. at about 3pm. I had a new one with carrot juice and fruit and, of course, wheatgrass. It was the best so far, I think.
I am meeting with a friend tomorrow and I suggested we go there for smoothies rather than coffee.
Tonight I had some fried okra. Yum!
Tomorrow I will do better.
Oh, I also ran about 1.5 miles (actually I walked about 1/6th of it) and I took the dogs for a long walk. So, overall, I had a good day of exercise and a not so good day of eating.
It will be Saturday before I can read the book. I am anxious to get back to it.

Weds April 15

2009-04-15T20:07:00.001-05:00

Well, I didn't do TOO bad today. I'm kind of letting myself off the hook about being perfect with my eating. I have been feeling bad about my consistency but that is okay, for now. I finished chapter 1 today of the book, so I am starting the chapter next about the detox itself.

Today I had a cappuccino, no other breakfast, a snickers bar about 10, salad bar at lunch, a smoothie at the Juice Co. about 4pm and then my husband grilled some chicken thighs which are SOOOOO good. So I had 2 small chicken thighs and some grapefruit juice for dinner.
I am about to drink some Smooth Move tea before bed.

All of that doesn't sound very good. However, now that I am aware of my craving for cottage cheese, which doing this blog helped me see, I made a decision at the salad bar for lunch that I think was helpful. I got the all you can eat salad bar and went through the first time and got lettuce, olives, a few hard boiled eggs, shredded carrots (and shredded other green things?) with extra virgin olive oil (small amount). No fruit or cottage cheese, until the second trip. I found I wasn't as hungry when it came to the cottage cheese, so my craving was a bit less.

I also went to a different HyVee for the salad bar. Most of them are the same but the one out on University in WDSM is bigger and has more selection of fruits (like mangos).
Hmm...a thought just occurred to me. I wonder if I find a salad bar without cottage cheese, that would be helpful. I will have to investigate that.

Cottage Cheese

2009-04-15T09:34:00.001-05:00

I noticed something else yesterday. I noticed how much I like cottage cheese. I always have enjoyed it but lately (the last few years) I have been limiting how much I have to about 8oz a month or so.
But yesterday, I was at the salad bar and I loaded my plate with cottage cheese and just savored each bite. My craving for it seems to have increased since I have started eating more raw food.
Interesting.

Weds Apr 15 Thoughts

2009-04-15T09:16:00.000-05:00

With my schedule the way it is, I haven't been reading the detox book very much. I have a day off today, so I thought I would read it some more. But I realized that I am not really following the detox diet, mostly because I haven't read much of the book to know what it involves (other than raw food). Hmm...I think I will still try to eat raw, finish the book and then officially follow the book once I have the information. It will probably be easier to follow the detox plan if most of diet is raw already.

I know you probably already realized that I wasn't following the diet but it took me a while to figure that out. And this blog has been helpful, since I have to go through in my mind what I have been eating in order to write it here. Usually, I just eat and move on and don't even think about it again.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could just take one pill every morning (or even once a week) and not have to think about food again? I feel like thinking about food is such a waste of time and energy. I have so many other more important things to do.
Since food impacts how I function during the day, I think I need to change that paradigm.

So, I will stop counting the days and restart the count once I officially start the detox plan.

Another thing I have been thinking about is the lemon cleanse. You can find information about it on my website Feel Great After 50. I want the effects of the the cleanse but I remember how difficult it is since I don't like anything about it! Oh, well, I will continue to think about it. I think I really need to psyche myself up before I do it.

Day 6 - Tuesday Apr 14

2009-04-15T09:12:00.001-05:00

Today was okay but not great.
I had a banana for breakfast (after a cappuccino at Starbucks), a baby ruth bar at about 10:45am, salad bar for lunch and a smoothie from the Juice Co. for dinner with a few mixed nuts as a snack later. I also drank about 1.5 liters of fluid, 1 liter of raspberry tea and the rest just plain water.

I've begun to notice a pattern. Of course, I already knew that the candy bar in the morning was there. But I've also had a craving that I fill with mixed nuts at night. I'm wondering if I am so used to having a steak or some chicken dripping in fat at night that I feel like I need that and mixed nuts seem to help, although not completely satisfy, that craving. Interesting.

Day 5 - April 13

2009-04-13T18:43:00.001-05:00

Well, I've done pretty well today.
I had some tea first thing this morning, about 4oz.
Then I had a raspberry smoothie for breakfast, salad bar for lunch and a smoothie with wheatgrass for dinner.
I did have a small snickers bar midmorning but I am on my second liter of water and I am snacking on some mixed nuts tonight.
Not perfect but MUCH better than this weekend.
I found a juice bar for my wheatgrass smoothie but I am thinking about buying my own juicer and growing my own wheatgrass.
Something interesting I learned today. I have read that you are supposed to juice the wheatgrass and not eat it. I have wondered about that so I talked to the gal that runs the juice bar. She gave me a few stalks to eat and I can see why. There is a ton of fiber and not much juice per unit volume. And it takes a lot of grass to juice out even a small amount of juice. I can see why it is kind of expensive.
I didn't run today because it has been raining/sprinkling all day and it was kind of cool, around 40 degrees F all day. I know that is no excuse because I could have put in a video but I guess I chose not to. :(

Day 4 - Sunday Apr 12

2009-04-12T16:27:00.001-05:00

Well, I have good news and I have bad news. After I ate so bad yesterday, I felt dizzy this morning and very 'thick' (I can't think of a better way to describe it), yucky. That's the good news (because I am beginning to associate bad food with feeling bad).
The bad news is that I have to detox all that bad stuff out.

This morning I had a smoothie for breakfast and tried to eat some cinnamon gummy bears (one of my favorite chewy things). I ate two gummy bears and they tasted terrible! So I threw them away. Yahoo! If I can just keep that memory alive when I go to the store and see them, I will not be eating them very soon.

For lunch I had to eat the leftovers from yesterday. Maybe 'had to' is not the right way to say it. I chose to.
This morning I ran to the grocery store and they were closed! I forgot this was a holiday. So I didn't have enough raw food for two meals. So I ate the yucky cooked stuff for lunch and I will have a banana for dinner. I don't feel so good right now, so next time I am in this situation, I may just not eat at all. But when I do that, I tend to snack and chips are my fallback item.

The strange thing is that even though I didn't eat well yesterday, I slept pretty well last night. However, now that I think about it, I have been in this 3 day cycle before where I don't sleep well for two nights and then the third I do. Maybe I am just so exhausted that I am able to sleep through one hot flash and then I get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Sometimes I can sleep through 2 and then I get 6 hours of sleep without waking up. For the last 8 or so years, that has been a real highlight. Pretty pathetic, eh?

I have tried getting off dairy and eating soy and that didn't seem to help. Although, going through that time, I cut my dairy consumption by about 75%. So it wasn't a total loss.

One thing that has really helped the last few weeks is that I removed my bedside clock. Then, if I wake up, I don't have a time record of it, so sometimes I am not sure how many times I wake up.

Oh, more good news. I went for about a mile run this morning, about 11am. It hurt but in a good way. I noticed that my joints are stiffer this morning (before my run) than they have been the last few days. Maybe the raw food is helping that too. When I get up from the floor I make noises like my grandpa!

Day 3

2009-04-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

Today was not as good.
I woke up frustrated because, even though I ate pretty well the last two days, I didn't sleep well either night. I get to the third day, today, and I haven't slept well for two nights, I am tired and I lost heart. I woke up with a headache and took some Excedrin Migraine and 2 Advil. I hurt and I was very frustrated.

For breakfast I had a banana, some grapefruit juice and some Colonix fiber. Then I had some tea.
I had a snickers bar and some water midmorning.
For lunch I went to a barbeque restaurant and had eggs and meat, hash browns and onion rings with water.
Later I had an ice cream sandwich, more water and a banana.

I am so frustrated. Right now, I am just trying to sleep better but nothing I do seems to help.

Tomorrow I hope to do better.

Day 2

2009-04-11T19:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I did okay on day 2 ... not perfect, but good.
Breakfast: Organic raspberry smoothie with spinach, flax seed and orange juice.
Lunch: salad bar (some cottage cheese, eggs and chicken)
Dinner: juice co fruit smoothie
Snack: small snickers bar

I know, I didn't do everything perfect but much better than burger king! :-)

Drink This Afternoon

2009-04-09T16:44:00.000-05:00

I did something very good! I went to a place I found several months ago to get an organic drink. The place is called The Juice Co. I got a raspberry smoothie (non-dairy) with wheatgrass and flax seed. Very good! I feel good about doing this. I don't know if the ingredients are making me feel better or if it's just emotional. I don't care. I am feeling better after kind of a bad day.

First Day Lunch

2009-04-09T12:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I went to HyVee (a local grocery store with deli and salad bar) and I had an all you can eat salad bar. I did pretty well. The first time I went through I didn't have any hard-boiled eggs or cottage cheese which I usually pile on top of the salad to cover up the lettuce. However, I did have a very small amount of beef and chicken, just for taste. And I used extra virgin olive oil as a dressing on the lettuce. I also had cantalope, strawberries and pineapple, all fresh. I never have really liked canned fruit much.

But the second time I went through, I had the same thing only I made a choice to not have beef and chicken. It was okay and I really feel like it was a moral victory to not get beef and chicken that second time as well as skipping the eggs and cottage cheese both times.

Now that I am home, I would normally have a candy bar or one of the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer calling my name right now. However, again, I am making a choice not to have those. Instead, I filled a quart jar with water and I am choosing to drink that instead. Of course, I now drink only ro (reverse osmosis) water. I don't like the taste of any other water.

Speaking of water, recently I was told that drinking straight water washes the electrolytes out of my body. So I have been drinking Zinger tea made by Celestial Seasonings instead. However, I decided if I am going to do this detox diet, I am going to go 'by the book' and follow the instructions exactly for maximum effect.

For my last meal of the day, I have decided to have my smoothie. I haven't been very consistent with it recently. So I will start again. It consists of frozen organic raspberries, organic (when I can get it) spinach, organic flax seed, a banana (not always organic) and a small amount of orange juice blended together. I usually follow up with a handful (or more) of potato chips. I choose to forgo the chips tonight. I will let you know how it goes.

First Day - 2009-Apr-09

2009-04-09T10:35:00.001-05:00

Okay, so today I have decided to begin eating healthy by eating raw, organic food and doing the detox from the book The SimplyRaw Living Foods Detox Manual.

Honestly, I am scared and excited at the same time. I have tried several different detox methods before and failed at most of them (except for the 'easy' ones). So, I am doing something different this time. I am writing this blog and keeping my journey 'out there' to be scrutinized and read by others. So, this time I will be more successful.

Another reason I believe I will be more successful this time is that I feel worse today than I have felt in a long time, almost since I can remember. I am tired. This extra 35 pounds around my waist feels like a weight that is extremely uncomfortable. I have a headache and I am light-headed (even more than normal). And I am so sick of feeling this way.

I have often wondered what I could have accomplished in my life if I had felt better. I am very good at math (in fact, I teach calculus at the college level) and I love engineering. But I never had the energy to pursue engineering as a career. I have an active mind and imagination but how much higher could my intelligence have been if I had felt better and been able to focus better? I have chosen the easy way whenever I had the opportunity to choose, mostly because I was so tired all the time.

So, what have I had to eat so far today? Junk, unfortunately. I decided to do this after breakfast which consisted of plain oatmeal and a breve cappuccino (both from Starbucks). Why do I go to Starbucks? I don't even like the cappuccino any more. Since they closed my favorite Starbucks in March, most of the time, they don't make it right. Additionally, it is so expensive! Oh, and then before I sat down to read and start this blog I had my daily dark chocolate Snickers bar. Great food, eh?

Okay, so, now that I have decided to do this, I could either wait and start tomorrow (and, consequently, eat whatever the rest of today --- the choice I would normally make) or I can start right now and eat well the rest of the day. My first thought is that I need to finish reading the book first. This would be my usual reason for procrastination. However, that is something else I am changing. I will start right now. So, for lunch, I will go to HyVee and get a salad bar with all raw food. No cottage cheese and hard-boiled eggs. Yea for me! I am making good decisions right off the bat! I am going to succeed at this. I have decided.

My only limitation right now is that today is the first day of Pesach (Passover). So, there is no choice about eating fermented food for a week. That's okay. I will start introducing the fermented products next Thursday.

Okay, back to more reading.

Background On My Journey

2009-04-09T09:20:00.000-05:00

I have recently started to build a website, Feel Great After 50. This website contains the results of all my research and experience over the last 5-7 years regarding healthy eating, hormones, exercise and sleep.

I started the website originally to make money by becoming an affiliate for various other websites and to help other people feel better as they get older. However, not long after I started I realized that the activity of putting the information in a form for others to read actually helped me more than I think it will help others.
A little history is in order. You can go my website to read a little bit about me on the Author page. However, here is more information.

I have never felt very good. I don't remember ever having a lot of energy, sleeping well or wanting to do much of anything. I was labeled 'lazy' at a very early age (I don't even remember why). I stuttered as a child and, at about the age of 6, was taken to a special school for 'mentally handicapped' children for therapy. (Although back then, in the 1960's, we were labeled 'retarded'.) Thus I took on the personality of a lazy stupid child. Hmm...I still seem to have some voltage on this one.

Anyway, the point is that I have never slept well (which I thought was normal) and I have never had good eating habits (I eat the SAD, the faster the better) and, consequently, I have never really enjoyed life. In fact, I have never understood the concept of 'life is wonderful.' Living has always been a burden for me. Consequently, I am a negative thoughtless person who is difficult to be around. Hmm...that reminds me of my Family Life Fairy Tale that I wrote a few years ago. I should post that here sometime.

I have tried therapy and self-help groups and read all kinds of books. And now I think I know what may be holding me hostage, the food I eat. Yes, that's right, the food I eat.
I started reading a book this week and today is the first day that I have taken the time to sit down and really read it, called The SimplyRaw Living Foods Detox Manual. I just received it from Amazon early this week. In fact, it was just published last weekend.

Anyway, I was reading this morning and Natasha (the author of the book) lists several symptoms of detox that tell you that toxins are being released into your body on pages 30-31. I realized as I am reading those that I have every single one of them! Yes, you heard right ... every single one. I also realized that I am sick of feeling this way. Sick and tired! And I am feeling even worse every day. And I don't like getting old and feeling old.

I think I hit a wall today. I took a Tylenol pm last night so that I could at least get some sleep for a change. Even though I knew that I would wake up this morning and feel groggy and tired and that I would feel like this all day. Then, when I woke up, I DID feel groggy and tired but I also had a headache so I had to have 2 Excedrin migraine pills. Additionally, all day yesterday I felt light-headed like I was going to pass out which I think was a reaction to the Burger King lunch that I had the day before.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Why is someone who feels so bad writing a website called Feel Great After 50 and why should you listen to me? I think I have made some good decisions in some areas of my life and, additionally, I am on the same journey as I am recommending on my website. Have I arrived? Obviously not! But at least I am in there battling. And I figure my research may help someone on their journey. So that's where I am.

I think I have made a decision to really work on my eating (I hesitate to use the word 'diet' because of all the baggage associated with it.). So that's why I started this blog today.
I don't care if anyone reads it. In fact, it may be too depressing for most people since I tend to (and plan to) complain a lot. I will be honest and tell you right where I am, in honest plain language. This blog is for me. If it helps you, that is great. And I would love to hear about it. But, at least for right now, it is to help me stay on the path.

So, it's time to begin.